Over A Life Time
by OBluver
Summary: This is a story that chronicles Harry's and Hermione's life together and it is based on the song '100 Years'. It's pretty sweet and a little smutty in later chapters, so I hope you like it! RR Please!
1. I'm 15 For A Moment

**A/N-** Ok so this is a new story. I haven't done a H/Hr one in a while so I thought I'd start. This story takes place over spans of Harry and Hermione's life together, and it actually follow the song '100 Years' by Fighting for Five so that explains the lyrics on the top of each of the chapters. This first chapter is very important to me because my fifteenth birthday is in two days so I thought it was kinda ironic that I started a story about it. So this chapter starts in the trios fifth year a little bit after Harry arrives at Grimmauld Place. So I hope you like it, and REVIEW! _  
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**_I'm 15 for a moment  
Caught in between 10 and 20  
And I'm just dreaming  
Counting the ways to where you are_**

Hurt never fades from your heart it only decreases. Or at least that was what I believed before I saw her that day. I had been angry with her for awhile. I believed that she had betrayed me in a worse way than anyone could. She didn't talk to me genuinely and she didn't look at me with the same eyes that she used to. All those things mixed with the deep feeling of ignorance that was rising in my chest made me hate her.

But that was before I saw her. That was before her fifteenth birthday.

The day had been quiet and uneventful for me and it probably would have remained that was if I hadn't heard her soft sob. My anger from my initial arrival had not yet worn off, and Mrs. Weasley's insufferable worrying was starting to give me a head ache, so I headed up to bed early that night. As I passed the study I stopped out of shock and instinct.

I heard something it was soft at first, but then it became more evident when I came closer to the door. Out of paranoia I held my wand tightly in my pockets ready for a fight. But that was the opposite of what I found. I found Hermione, my Hermione, with her face buried in a book sobbing.

At first she didn't register that I was standing there, but after a soft cough she sat up in surprise. She never stopped crying though. Tears came out of her eyes so unabashed I was startled. But what startled me more was a simple thought. Why can Hermione cry yet I still can't seem to?

I stood there for a few moments pondering this fact until I realized that Hermione was still there. I had expected her to bury her face in her book again or run out of the room embarrassed. Most of the people in my life tend to run away from me. But she didn't run. She just continued to sit on the couch looking at me curiously as silent tears streamed down her face.

"What is a matter?" I croaked in a low voice I didn't know I have. She cocked her head slightly to the left and seemed to be examining me closely. When I realized she wasn't going to answer I went on. "It's not like you to cry. I mean it's perfectly ok. Yeah, uh, we're all upset about Voldemort, and…" but she cut me off with a quick statement

"I am not upset about Voldemort." Her tone took me by surprise as well as her language. She said his name. Had she ever _really _said it before? I had never paid close enough attention and in that moment I wish I had.

"So what is it then?" I said more harshly than I had intended. It took me a moment to remember that I was actually quite furious at the sobbing girl and that I had a right to use an awful, nasty tone with her.

"That right there." She said as calmly as if she had just walked out of a dream.

"What?" my tone was flat now and I fully intended it to be a sort of apology, but she just continued to glare at me like I had just killed a puppy, or something.

"It's just so typical of you." She almost spat at me. I was going to retort but she continued on "From the first day I met you I thought you were that guy who was different, the hero who really never wanted attention, but I guess I was wrong. You're just as clichéd as I first thought you'd be."

"Excuse me" I immediately exclaimed "Can you please explain one thing you're talking about because I seem rather oblivious to how you can think all of these things seeing as you haven't talked to me in about a two months!" I took a minute to sputter useless insults before shouting. "And how do I seek attention. Ever since I came to Hogwarts I've been doing nothing but try to stay out of the spotlight." A grim smile spread across her face as she quickly absorbed all I had said.

"Harry" she snickers softly brushing the last remnants of tears she had on her fact away. "We're not at Hogwarts right now, and if we were I would be embarrassed for you, because you would be living up to everyone's stereotypes." She paused for a moment to give me time to retort but my mouth remained closed as she continued. "It's in the way you talk that makes you attention grabbing. You say you want to be in the know, but you pout like a little boy the moment something doesn't go your way. You say you don't want to be a hero but you jump at the chance to do anything heroic. And you say you don't want attention, but you still hold a grudge to get our attention back on you."

I knew my mouth was agape but I did not bother to fix it. Thoughts had fully stopped running in my head because I knew they would do no good. They would only reassure me that my actions were just, and that she was wrong. But my heart knew better than my head. My heart ached because it knew she was right, and because it knew that I had let her down, and everyone else wrong for that matter.

"Why were you crying then?" I asked not looking into her eyes but rather at a spot right above her head. I could feel her gave constantly. That gave drew me to look at her face. And I was blown away by what I saw. She was beautiful. I don't know why I had never seen it before. Dry tears made her face shine in the soft moonlight that was coming out of the window. She looked into my eyes and I thought my stomach had permanently dropped. She sighed but never broke eye contact.

"It's my birthday." She said shortly as if she were ashamed of the fact. Her eyes lost mine as she looked back down at her hands.

"Oh Hermione" the words softly escaped my lips as if I hadn't even meant to say them out loud. Her gaze was directly on the small book in her hand and I realized for the first time that it was not a dusty old volume like I usually saw her with.

That book was small and almost more intimate. It had no cover slip but rather a soft blue hardcover that looked slightly worn. It hit me somewhere along the way that it must be a muggle book. It had never crossed my mind to ask if Hermione ever actually read muggle books, although it seems quite logical considering that she was a muggle born. It had no title, and my curiosity burned.

"What is it?" I asked moving my position by the door into a sitting one on the floor straight in front of her. She looked up with a surprised expression on her face for the first time in the night.

"What this?" She indicated down to the book. "It's just Peter Pan. My mom sent it to me today as a gift." She lifted up the front cover revealing a woman's neat handwriting. I read it softly aloud.

"Dear My Lovely Hermione today is your fifteenth birthday and I could not be any prouder of you. But remember as you face another year of trials and hard-ships that you are only fifteen for a moment. My beautiful fifteen years old there is still time for you; time to buy and time to lose. So treasure it because you'll never get a time better than this. My love for you extends farther than you know, your mother." My breath caught in my throat as I looked up to see Hermione crying again. "You never got to the first page did you?" I said softly looking up at her from my position on the floor.

"It's my favorite book. Did you know that?" She laughed a little wiping the tears away in embarrassment. I quickly grabbed hold of her hands hindering her from the task. "You would think that I would just want to dive into it was way I do with other books, but I just couldn't get past that first page." She broke down into our hands which were still intertwined. I slowly moved up to a position on the couch next to her, and she directly collapsed into my lap. The girl who had been calm and collected earlier was now buried in my lap as a mess of a girl. I looked around for something, anything that would calm her down. I was never good with crying women.

"Would you like me to read the book to you?" I asked softly in her ear. All my earlier anger seemed to have melted away, and all that was left was concern for her. She nodded slowly and I tentatively picked up and started reading in the best voice I could muster. After about the first twenty pages of reading my voice was becoming to get hoarse. I looked down at Hermione to realize that she had fallen asleep. I slowly got up and spread a blanket over the sleeping beauty. I passed a moment at the door before turning out the lights.

"Happy Birthday Hermione. I mean it." I said in the most voice I could muster after almost half and hour of straight reading.

As I exited I could have sworn I heard her say 'I know'. It was probably just in my head, but I knew after that day I would never look at Hermione in the same way.


	2. I'm 22 For A Moment

**A/N- **Ok so I decided that I was going to get this chapter up really quick. I hope you guys like it. I wrote this chapter four times in four different ways, but this one was by FAR the best. So I hope you all like it, and thanks to everyone who reviewed, KEEP IT UP. You don't know how happy it makes me when people review. So R/R!

**_I'm 22 for a moment  
She feels better than ever  
And we're on fire  
Making our way back from Mars _**

My life has never been about straight lines. Up until I was eleven I dreamed of a life filled with twists and turns around every corner. I guess I'm a prime example of the phrase 'Be Careful What You Wish For'. Now everyday when I wake up I pray to every available higher source that my life could be about straight lines again; for her sake at least.

But a life of straight lines never came for me and I doubt it ever will. Some people just have to suffer I guess, so that the rest of the world can live with their straight lines wishing that they were a little loopier. I guess out of those who suffer I got the roller coaster of all lines.

It was a late evening in June when I laid my eyes upon her. It was lush and beautiful; the perfect monsters haven. By then I had become a monster, but the trick is I only hurt myself and my only love.

She waited for me patiently as I had asked. I wondered for a second if she had been there long but soon dismissed the thought because I knew she had. Hermione Granger came early to everything. She was standing in the wind, and in the moonlight I almost swore an invisible halo was starting to form around her head.

"Harry!" Her voice seemed excited as she ran towards me and as we engaged in a tight semi-awkward hug. We didn't touch a lot. It was hard for me to touch people at all really. All the people I touched, and who were willing to touch me, died. I refused to see that happen to Hermione. I know it hurts her a little inside when I don't seem eager about simple things like holding her hand. She thinks it's her, but if only she knew.

She immediately became bristled and as we walked along the beaten path that led along the lake I knew she was not happy with me.

"Why did you bring me here Harry?" She asked. I started to notice that her questions were never long and drawn out. They were small and quaint and got everything she needed to ask out without a paragraph. She was a straight line. She was too good for me. And the most tragic part is that I knew it.

"I" I paused and looked around "Look can you just wait a few more minutes we're almost there."

"I'm tired of waiting Harry." And she sounded like she was tired. Her voiced yearned for the explanation that she wanted so badly. But I wasn't going to give it to her just yet. I continued to walk along until I realized she was no longer by my side. I turned around to find her in the exact spot we had stood to talk. I slowly walked back hoping to bait her into the fight I knew she wanted.

"Seriously Harry will it make any difference at all if we go a few more feet around the bend?" She asked tear filling up in her eyes. I hid my surprise of her having asked a long question. I laughed a little and she stared at me with baited eyes full of sorrow. "I mean you'll take me out and show me a beautiful view of the lake and then apologize for being an ass. Can't we for go in all and just do it here?"

"Do you seriously not recognize this place?" I asked even though I already knew the answer. She shook her head no and put her arms over her chest like she always does when she's frustrated. "I guess that could be expected. It was daytime last time we were here." She came to a little and looked at me with more surprised eyes than angry.

"Are you actually saying that I've been here before?" I nodded and started off down the path again. After a moment of silence I heard the rustle of movement on the path directly behind me and I knew it was her.

"Was I with you when I came then?" She asked coming directly beside me now. I smiled a little at how direct her question was.

"Yes, and Ron to; I can't believe you don't remember." That frustrated her beyond belief. I could almost hear her brain cogs turning as she looked around her trying to recognize something.

"This wasn't where we went camping that one time was it? Because Harry you know I got a really bad poison ivy and I don't want to relive…" She quieted at my laughter and gave me a dirty look. I stopped immediately. I loved the woman, but you don't mess with her when she is cranky and the focus is on you.

"No, that place was close to The Burrow." I paused for a minute when she looked horror stricken at the thought of getting another bad spout of poison ivy. "And yesterday I came here and did repellent spells on all the poison ivy plants so they would be rendered harmless." She let out a sigh of relief and seemed to forgive me a little after that.

"Harry I know you want this to be a surprise and everything, but my feet are killing me and I don't think that I can…"

"We're here." I said plainly stopping suddenly making her stumble a little at the abruptness of the whole thing. I stared up at a dark cave. It was an ordinary cave with it's millions of rocks and scary atmosphere, but to me it had one of the best memories of my life in it's dark secretive walls. I looked at Hermione and was half joy and half disappointed that she didn't remember it.

"This sure isn't a romantic look over the lake." She laughed at herself which gave me permission to laugh with her. I cautiously took her hand in mine and started leading her into the cave.

Most women would have been terrified if you tried to lead them into a dark cave at night, but Hermione wasn't one of those women. She had seen too much in her life, and she knew how to defend herself. Sometimes I thanked God for the fact, but most of the time I scorned him for it. Hermione didn't deserve half the stuff she saw.

It wasn't a far walk to the part of the cave I was looking for. We reached the end of the path as the whole of the cave spread out in water. Moonlight shining in from the slight holes in the ceiling made the small lake glisten and glimmer like diamonds. Hermione finally looked up at me in recognition.

"This is the spot where…" She trailed off as she took in the full beauty of the lake. But I couldn't take my eyes off of her beauty.

"Yeah, this is the spot where I first took you into my arms, and we had our first dance." She looked up at me and smiled.

"I was standing here!" She exclaimed throwing her arms up in celebration next to the large stalagmite she had stood by almost three years ago.

"And I here." I said moving over to the waters edge. "And Ron was sleeping farther back in the cave because we complained about his snoring." She giggled in recollection. My heart began to beat as I remember what came next.

"And we were asking each other random questions." She said walking slowly towards me now. "And you asked me what my favorite muggle song was."

"And instead of telling me you sang it to me." She hummed the tune under her breath as I continued with the tale. "I took you in my arms the minute I heard your voice, and if I remember correctly you did not protest." She was in my arms now. She stopped humming and a sweet smile came across her lips.

"I don't think you're remembering correctly Mr. Potter. I remember putting up quite a bit of trouble saying that you were a terrible dancer, and not even a superb a dancer as I could improve your skills in the slightest." I dipped her low and when she was brought back up we were closer than before our faces almost touching.

"You're right." I whispered in a soft tone of voice "You're always right."

"You're touching me." She stated almost in awe. "And you're not afraid of me." I frowned. Was that what she thought? Did she think it was her I was afraid of?

"I love you Hermione." I whispered slowly in her ear. She turned her face to where it was directly in front of mine.

"That'll do."

"Marry me?" My heart leapt out of my chest and was now spewing out on the floor somewhere. She looked at me for a moment before resting her head on my shoulder.

"Now that I'll do"


	3. I'm 33 For A Moment

**A/N-**Hello all and I would like to wish you a Happy Easter. Considering it is Easter I couldn't help putting a religious spin on this chapter. Considering I'm Catholic religion plays a big part in my life and I thought it would be interesting to cooperate it in there. The next chapter is coming shortly, so ust hang in there. I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, and I encourage more to do so. So I hope you like it and REVIEW!

_**I'm 33 for a moment  
Still the man, but you see I'm a they  
A kid on the way  
A family on my mind**_

Books can never truly explain the goings on in life. They will never be able to talk you through that first kiss, or explain why she makes butterflies come into your stomach. Books can't tell you when you've messed up and books can't push you to find her and apologies. Some things can only be done by a parent, and nothing scares me more.

She always put her trust in books. There was nothing she couldn't find in the brittle pages of an old tome, and the thick ink that filled the page. That's the first thing she did when we first found out. She read books on pregnancy, the actual delivery, and even as far off as potty training.

"It's our first child Harry." She said lovingly when I first questioned all the books she had brought home. "We have to make sure we do everything right." My heart flipped every time she said those words. She wanted to give our child the life I never got.

Maybe that was why every time the baby was mentioned my stomach did a jump. I had only heard of a childhood that wasn't riddled with dark cupboards and evil relatives. I had never had a real childhood of my own, how could I make my own child's enjoyable? Hermione seemed to sense my troubles. She was always able to tell when I was upset. And she was always good for alleviating my worries.

"Don't worry." She comforted me at night when she sensed that I was worrying. "You're not like them."

"How do you know?" My voice was always laced with the worry that I wish I could express to her in words. I was never very good with words. She smiled and snuggled closer to me making her bulging belly more evident.

"Because you have me." She tried to sound humble, but I could hear the pride shining through those words. She loved that I needed her.

"Yes, yes I do." I would whisper before quietly falling into a deep sleep with my one true love in my arms.

Love was never the issue. I had more than enough love for Hermione and I knew it would only increase with the birth of our child. Love is something that had no boundaries. For a brief period when I was young the Dursleys decided to go to church. Back then I thought it was, hopefully, to pray for Dudley to get skinny. But I later came to realize that church was just another strategy to try to drive the witchcraft out of me. I guess when they realized that it wasn't going to work their piety quickly dissolved.

I would always dress in my best when I went to church. It was like a special occasion for me. A church was one place I knew I couldn't get hurt. I was never very drawn to the religion aspect though. I could never feel a great bond between God and I. Probably the wizard in me still angry about the religious bigots who burned witches in the old days. But I did respect church and listened closely to the gospel when I thought that it may be fascinating.

On one Sunday when we had gone to church I heard something I would never forget. As the priest got up to read the gospel my eyes misted over getting ready to loose focus. But then the priest started to speak and a whiff of his words caught my ears and immediately sent me out of my daze.

"Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance. In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of them all is love." The priest spoke in a strong voice and yet in my seven year old mind it seemed soft. While he was reading it he always seemed to glance at me, as if he knew he was speaking to a love deprived child.

Most couples use the quote in their wedding for symbols of love. Actually, Hermione once suggested we use it at our wedding but I immediately struck the idea down. I loved Hermione, but that quote to me did not stand for the love I had for her. That quote to me meant the love of a parent, a love that knows no end, and a love that would die for you. That quote was saved only for my mother.

Once about a month before the baby was born Hermione brought up the issue of the baby's religion to me.

"Harry" she said cautiously making sure to approach me in the right manner. She knew I was touchy about religion. "Do you think we should have the baby baptized?" I looked at her for a while. Her face was to hopefully not to respond.

"Do you mean baptize it to be Catholic?" I tried to keep the harshness out of my voice, but it seemed hard to hold back.

"That was how I was raised." She didn't look timid and soft anymore. She looked like a determined pregnant woman who wasn't going to give up without a fight. "I know it seems hard for you to understand, but God is a big part of life, and I want our baby to experience that part of life."

"What has God done?" Stupid question, I know. But what other way can you fight with Hermione besides being direct and sometimes stupid.

"He kept you alive." She answered loudly raising her voice. Her answer surprised me. I knew she felt strongly about the issue, but she rarely yelled and most of the time it was at Ron so I personally had no problems with it.

"Fine" I didn't look into her eyes when I answered. I didn't want her see the uncertainty. "The baby will be baptized." She did not hug me or show any sign or thankfulness. She simply walked out of the room and left me to ponder what had conspired. She left me so that I could think about God.

The baby came about a month after our conversation. Everything was set when Hermione told me it was time. We got to St. Mungo's in no time, and Hermione was quickly swooped out of my sight. It was not traditional for fathers to be in the room in wizarding births.

I waited and contemplated everything that had gone on in my life since I had found out we were expecting. I had thought about God for the first time in almost six years. I had recollected on my traumatic life at the Dursleys. And I hoped upon hope every day since the day we found out that my baby would be happy, and not turn out like its father did, scary and damaged.

Company surrounded me during the day, but none of it mattered to me. The only people I wanted to see were my family, and they were currently in the delivery room. The doctors had come out earlier and told me that some complications had risen, but that they were not lethal to Hermione or the baby. I quickly told Hermione's parents and the Weasleys. Most took it pretty easily, they trusted magic and knew that it would come through for them. But Hermione's mother was different from the rest.

She did not speak or try to reassure me. She simply nodded and returned to her purse. She dug deep into her purse and when her hands emerged they were tightly clutching beads. She must've sensed me looking and returned my gaze sharply before focusing herself fully on the beads.

"I'm sorry I know you folks don't really have an official religion," Hermione's father apologized as he noticed me looking intensely at his wife. "But Ellen has always been a strong Catholic, and when troubles arise she believes that the rosary is the only answer. I'm sorry if it disturbs you. I can ask her to…" but I was off before I could hear the rest I was off towards Mrs. Granger.

I stood for a few minutes before she acknowledged my presence. People were staring, but I didn't care. She looked up at me with pitying eyes.

"Do you know the line in the bible about love?" I asked desperately hoping upon hope that she didn't think I was crazy.

"There are many quotes in the Bible about love." She said. Obviously noticing that I was distressed she continued softly "But I believe the one you are probably referring to is 'Love is patient'" My hope rose up as she looked at me for the first time that night with understanding.

"Can you recite it?" she looked at me puzzled and I quickly realized my error. "I don't mean out-loud or anything I'm just asking if you know all of it." She nodded.

"It is one of my favorites."

"Can you do me a favor?" she nodded again and I continued feverishly "Can you send that prayer up to God for me? We don't have the best relationship and I know someone up there who I know will listen." She nodded again, and I began to wonder if that was all the woman did. She shut her eyes for a moment and I knew she was saying the prayer in her head and sending it to God.

"Excuse me Mr. Potter." A healer suddenly came out of the door and addressed me with a handshake. "Your wife is in the other room and she said she would like to introduce you to your son now." The healer smiled as I felt my knees go weak.

"Thank you mother." I mumbled under my breath shutting my eyes for only a fraction of a second. "Thank you for listening."


	4. I'm 44 For A Moment

A/N- Ok so this is the fourth chapter of 'Over A Life Time' and I'm sorry it took me a while, but I've been really busy lately. This chapter was really hard for me to write, but I think it turned out pretty well. Sorry it kinda ends suddenly, but it'll be explained more in the next chapter so hold on in there. So I hope you like it and READ and REVIEW! 

_**I'm 45 for a moment  
The sea is high  
And I'm heading into a crisis  
Chasing the years of my life**_

We collapsed onto the bed as her feverish skin rubbed against mine sending chills through my spine and almost all of my blood downward. The hotness of her aura was an overpowering sensation and in that moment all I wanted to do was get lost in it. She was always easy to get lost in, but the problem is coming back out.

She gasped lightly as I began to trail hard passionate kissed down her supple neck. A moaned escaped her lips and I thought that I would die. She was perfect. She was young reckless. And she expected absolutely nothing out of me.

"I don't love you." I said in a firm almost stopping voice. Of course I didn't love her. I was almost old enough to be her father. She flashed me a mischievous grin.

"Baby, do I look like the type of girl who falls in love?" I felt stupid as I looked down at her frame underneath mine. "Now I would appreciate if we could continue so that you can fuck my brains out." She laughed as I immediately beckoned to her command. I would have done almost anything for her at the moment.

Death is… questions. No one really knows what happens after you die, even if people claim they do. Death is the biggest mystery of time only second to Life. Our human minds cannot possibly grasp the concept, and we eventually get scared. We get scared and we ultimately end up running.

Most of my life I wasn't afraid of death. I had seen death, and death had surrounded me like almost a companion most of my life. But the day that I started to settle down in a life that involved more life than death I became subtly aware that death no longer surrounded me. I started to fear death. Not fully of course, but the fear still lingered in side of me like a child.

The day he died was the day the fear had come out fully. He had never had enough time. Time was a tricky thing. Remus never had time to say goodbye to his friends, just as I had never gotten to day goodbye to him. Remus had been the one I turned to when I was in trouble. But his death extinguished something in side of me. The last marauder had finally died and my world looked bleak.

His death not only made me scared of death itself; it made me scared of life also. I was scared of a life that I would never live. I would never be carefree. I would forever have something or someone to protect. I would never be free. And out of the 36 ways of avoiding disaster I knew running away was the best.

Ben could and probably will never understand it. To be fair he was only ten at the time. Hermione has told me stories about how he would ask where I was and she would respond "Work". Even though it wasn't true I don't think she wanted to admit to her son that she had no idea where his father was. Hermione was hurt more than I think I will ever be able to imagine.

Home was a place that I didn't know. The home where my family lived was only a place I resorted to at night. After a while of wandering around muggle London I found a bar that I initially called home.

It was a dark smoky place. It was the place that you went to when you had marital problems and just needed to talk. But I didn't talk. I just drank my troubles away. I didn't have many bar friends. All the bartenders knew my name, but none of them really talked to me. I just stayed peacefully in my little table waiting for an adventure to come along like it had in my younger days.

My adventure didn't take long though. The bar had an open mike night every Friday. I tried to avoid them generally. Bad singing usually killed my buzz. But one Friday I had to get away. Ben and I had gotten into a row.

"You hurt mum!" He had yelled after I had come home from work and smart mouthed to Hermione inevitably making her cry. "Leave us alone. We don't need you!" Ben had never yelled at me before that night. He had always looked up to me just the way a son should. I knew I had let him down and that only fueled my running fire.

My usual table had been taken because the bartenders knew true well not to save it for me on Friday. So I perched myself on the counter and began drinking. It didn't take me long for the alcohol to settle in my stomach and relax me like nothing else could.

A voice rang inside my mind, but was it inside my mind? I swiveled around on my stool to see an angel standing almost directly in front of me. She lightly swayed under the lights that I had never seen before. The voice was the angel and she seemed to be singing me a lullaby.

I stayed focused on this goddess until her song was over. I had been startled when she smiled at the applause and started making her way off the stage. Wasn't she staying? Wasn't she going to sing me another song? It then hit me that it was karaoke night. She was not meant to sing karaoke. She was meant to sing on cloud nine.

"Amelia" a voice rang out from somewhere I didn't know. I almost turned my head and then realized that my eyes were looking directly into another's. They were sky blue and immediately floored me.

"Excuse me?" My voice sounded pathetic in its own throat. I was starting to make out a face to go with the eyes. It was the angel, but she was no angel. She was a beautiful woman standing in front of me.

"Amelia is my name." she suddenly moved out of my eye view and into the seat next to me. I swiveled around in my chair so that she would be in her eye shot.

"That's nice." I didn't want to seem too anxious to talk to her. Of what I could remember about dating I knew girls didn't like that. She gave me a small laugh as she motioned for the bartender to bring her a drink.

"So what are you, angsting or something?" She looked over at me as I looked at my drink. I guess marriage had lowered my emotional blocking walls.

"My son hates me." I finished off the whiskey I had been gulping down. "And he's only ten. I didn't expect him to hate me until he was at least seventeen."

"So why does he hate you?" Her questions were straight to the point just as Hermione's had always been. The sheer thought of Hermione sent a chill of guilt down my spine. I quickly pushed it back though so that I could focus on the angel Amelia.

"Because I've been angsting." My drink was refilled by the bartender and I knew it wasn't going to be long before this one was gone to.

"Then you have a problem, don't you?"

"Not at this moment." I smiled as the alcohol ran down my throat giving it a wonderful burning sensation. "Alcohol seems to mask all problems."

"Very profound for someone as drunk as you." Her smile seemed to haze my world as her eyes looked deeply into my soul. She wasn't like Hermione at all. She made my world spin, and I was beginning to get a sick feeling in my stomach. I didn't love her, but I was quickly falling into lust with her.

"I…" My words were slurring as her skirt seemed to appear shorter than it had a second ago. "I am Harry, bloody, Potter. Of course I am profound."

"Is that some messed up way of telling me that you're Harry Potter?"

"Will you be turned off if I said maybe?" I turned my body to face her for the first time since she sat down. Her body was better than I thought it had been when I had first seen her. Curves seemed to be all I saw as I gave her a once over.

"I already knew." She leaned forward slightly so that I could get a full view of her neck. Glitter had been strategically placed on the nape down to her cleavage and it made her skin appear to glow. I yearned to touch that neck, to kiss that neck.

"I'm married." She smiled leaning back in her chair again obviously knowing that her task had succeeded.

"These days who isn't?" Her statement caught me off guard, but her seductive smile kept the haze over my eyes.

"So are you?" It was a simple question and for the first time in the time we had been talking her smile left and she finished off her drink in a final swig.

"Who said I wasn't angsting too?"

"Kid?"

"Husband."

"Pity." I looked away from her and turned my body back towards the bar away from her. "And I was really starting to like you."

"And me being mad at my husband makes you like me less?" Her voice was no longer seductive, but angry. I could tell by her tone that I had done something wrong.

"No. It just makes me pity your husband." She turned her face towards mine this time not out of anger but more of fascination. "I've been there is all."

Silence engulfed us as we both began to realize what we were doing. She was married. Hell, I was married. We couldn't do this. I couldn't do it to Hermione.

"Look." She broke my silent bubble, with her seductive word and heavenly smile. "I'm going to the motel across the street where I am currently staying in room seventeen. If you decide its worth it come find me." And with that she was off. I sat there for a moment. Then I leaped from my seat as if it was coated with hot coals. I quickly caught up with Amelia as she was beginning to cross the road.

"It's not worth it." I sputtered out of breath. "But the greatest things never are." Her smiled brightened the night as she led me over to the motel. We stayed there the night and many nights after that.

The sobering effect of time always affects everyone. Some say time heals all wound, but the time I was living on was borrowed. And I couldn't count on anything to heal the wounds that I had caused.


	5. I'm 99 For A Moment

A/N- Ok so this is the last chapter of this story. Sorry it's taken so long to get it up. I've just had a wee bit of writers block, but I'm over that now so here is the last chapter. It's pretty darn fluffy, but I think it's pretty cute. So Read and Review, and check out all my other stories. Thanks for reading and for all those who reviewed. Love you all! 

_**I'm 99 for a moment  
Dying for just another moment  
And I'm just dreaming  
Counting the ways to where you are**_

She stood there looking just as beautiful as she looked on our wedding day. Her eyes filled with tears eyes while she looked at me with a sad expression that she only saved for important moments in our lives. Her frail body seemed to be trembling as she looked down at me softly and reached out one hand to lightly touch my cheek.

She thought I couldn't see, no one thought I could. But men are frequently proven wrong. Her hands felt as soft as they looked in the soft hospital light, and as her fingers gently brushed against the side of my face memories flooded back to me. I began to drift off into a light sleep, one that brought back a life full of love and tragedy.

_**15 there's still time for you **_

Her face looked so young. I almost wanted to touch it. There we were sitting in the glory of out youth. The sunny back-drop of Hogwarts was splayed behind us as the lake stretched ahead of us for miles.

It was almost like a pensive, but more intense. I could see everything from outside of my body. I could see her and me sitting there so serenely, but I could also feel exactly the way I did that day. Oh, how wonderful it had been to feel so carefree. If I had only known at the time that the days like this would be very rare. If only I could have cherished them more.

My hand began to tingle as I saw her take my hand in hers. I quickly tried to pull away, but she held firm. Even standing there watching I could feel the invisible pressure being applied to my finger.

"No." She whispered her face coming closer to mine. "You will not hurt me. You have to learn to understand that." My younger self looked away, but I looked at the expression that I hadn't seen all those years ago. It was loving expression like one I had never seen on that young face before.

I stood there almost confused for a second. At that point in our lives nothing overly romantic had been shared between us even though feeling were obviously being shared. But that look was one of the same love she had shown me on my wedding day.

"She loved me all along." I whispered under my breath. The world of my youth started fading and I scrambled desperately to try to regain it. "No" But it was gone.

_**22 I feel her too**_

Blackness surrounded me for a moment before light burst into my world. It took my eyes a moment to adjust before I found myself in exactly the place I never wanted to end up again. Spells being thrown and people dying surrounded me as I sank to my knees tears streaming down my face.

"I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN!" I screamed, but no one around me seemed to notice. My emotions raged as they came back to me the exact same way they had that day. I almost passed out from the pain. I hadn't felt that much pain in a long time. But a glint caught my eye.

It was a ring, glinting off of the finger of the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was disheveled and worn out, but the strong willed look on her face masked it all. The ring on her finger caught the light and glinted for all to see. It was my ring.

I had given it to her on her eighteenth birthday. At the time it was a survival ring. It was a bond between the two of us that responded whenever either of us were in mortal peril. My finger was lightly burning, but I ignored it as I slowly made my way to the girl who only paused a moment to look around. I knew she was looking for a younger version of me.

I didn't keep her waiting long as the crowds parted and Voldemort and I rose above the masses in a golden cloud. I knew what happened next and I couldn't bring myself to look. Instead I focused on Hermione's face. She looked so pristine as a tragic smile spread across her face as she yelled.

"He's got it." Tears streamed down her face as she collapsed to the ground in happy tears. I instinctively reached out my hand to brush her face, and when she looked up I could feel that she knew I was there. "Oh, God I love him." She muttered and the world went black.

_**33 you're on your way **_

Her eyes were magical. I hadn't really noticed that day, but now sitting on my living room floor next to my wife I saw that her eyes were extraordinary.

Ben had just rolled over for the first time. It was amazing how strong this little life we had brought into the world was. My emotions soared just as they had when I saw it the first time. Hermione glowed with happiness that only a mother could have. Even as I huddled around her she smelled like baby.

"He's beautiful." She muttered under her breath. My 33 year old self looked up for the first time since I had gotten there, and my stomach went into ties. I looked happy. I was happy at the time. But I knew the happiness wouldn't last; my next stop would show me that.

I had time to hear me lightly say "You both are" before everything went into it's now familiar black.

_**45 the sea is high**_

The room around me was dimly lit and I knew in an instant where I was.

"No" the word caught in my throat as I collapsed on the floor. I couldn't see this again. I couldn't live through that again. A hearty moan came from the bed that lay in front of me, and I only dared get on my knees and take a peak over it.

"I finally told her." I heard my voice whisper huskily as the bed began to sway with movement. I lay my bad against the bed frame, because I couldn't will myself to look. I heard what I could not see. The movement of the bed stopped, and I realized for the first time that my emotions weren't coming back to me as they had with the other flashbacks.

"And why did you go and do something that stupid?" I almost smiled as I remembered what a fool I was. She never loved me, even if I did trick myself into falling in love with her. But I continued as if she hadn't spoken at all.

"She didn't say anything. She just stood there looking into my eyes in that way she always does when she is trying to figure out if I'm lying." I heard Amelia sigh and, even though I couldn't see it, I remember her moving away from me.

"Harry look…"

"Why aren't you happy?" I sounded angry, and I was. In my mind we were perfect together, and I knew she couldn't see it. "You can finally leave Frank and I'll leave Hermione like we've always talked about."

"Harry I'm pregnant." In my entire life there were only a few circumstances when I was left speechless. This just happened to be one of them. "Oh don't worry Harry." She had smiled then and I remember wondering what was so funny. "I'm at least a month along so it couldn't possibly be yours. Frank is the father."

"But… what about… others?" I phrased it as a question, but to this day I'm not really sure if it ever really was.

"Whatever your thinking about me right now Harry Potter stop." She sounded angry. "You know full well that this is the first time that I've ever done this just like you have. I'm no slut" I could hear myself sputtering, but Amelia continued. "I'm no slut. Plus tonight was going to be our last night together. I was going to tell you when we were done. My husband may irritate me, but I love him and I can't keep doing this especially now that a _baby _is on the way!" I jumped as a slamming sound came from my left. A younger version of myself suddenly appeared in front of me pulling on clothing.

"So what is this a final lay before we part? Well, I'll just make it easy for you." And with that I left. Small sobs were heard from the bed, but I didn't dare look up to look at her. The blackness slowly crept up on my, and I accepted it fully.

_**Every day's a new day... **_

I couldn't see her face but I could feel her there. Her hand was still lying on my chest and I was beginning to feel the wetness of her tears.

"Oh, Harry" she choked out in a sob that revealed all of her age in it. "We had a good run didn't we? I know we had problems, but all in all we had a good run at life didn't we?" Her hand was removed from my chest and the heat in my body lowered. I mustered up all the will I had to utter my last words.

"I love you, babe."


	6. Epilouge

A/N- Ok sorry it took so long to get this up, but I have been so preoccupied with other things it was just a little bit tough. I have gotten a lot of questions about why Harry cheated on Hermione and I'm pretty positive that this chapter will clear everything up for you. So I hope you like it, and REVIEW, you really don't understand how happy it makes me when people review! 

It's soft almost inaudible. If you didn't know they were ringing you probably wouldn't hear them at all. Bells, like the ones that rang on our wedding day, seemed to ring somewhere above me. They were beautiful and almost made the pain in my heart cease if only for a moment; almost at least.

But nothing can make you truly forget about grieving. Memories began to flood my mind as my heart seemed to be keeping time with the chiming overhead. The bells continued above my head and my eyes got misty thinking of those few faithful nights where I had heard the bells before.

_I was walking nervously down the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My first few months at Hogwarts had not been what I was expecting. Of course I had learned loads, and I still couldn't help but marvel at the world around me. But I still lacked what every other student in school seemed to have: friends. If being eleven wasn't hard enough I was eleven and completely alone._

_As I walked through the crowded mass of students I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to pour from my eyes. Sometimes the worst kind of pain is where you are surrounded by people but still completely alone. _

_And then it happened. Someone brushed against my shoulder and I looked up into the most brilliant green eyes I had ever seen. We seemed to stare at each other for a long moment, and the world seemed to slow around us. I didn't even notice who the boy was, but I didn't care. My heart leapt as he opened his mouth to talk._

_"Sorry" he muttered and broke eye contact bringing my world back down around me. As he turned I saw a tuft of messy jet black hair and my stomach dropped. It was Harry Potter. The love that seemed to have lifted my lonely heart only a moment ago seemed to deflate it again. Someone like Harry Potter would never feel that way about her. He didn't even want to be her friend, why would he ever want to be her boyfriend?_

_Someone else nudged past her, but it wasn't the same. My heart did not leap, and my head didn't reel. The chiming of bells was slightly audible over the crowd, and I looked around. But no other students were rushing off to class, so they weren't the school bell. But I didn't linger on them long because the sadness was building up inside of me. I continued on my way, this time letting the tears flow freely from my eyes. For a moment I was no longer alone. But in the end it was only a moment. _

A small smile spread across my face, and the bells seemed to be laughing at me from above. I had been so young and naïve back then, and had no idea what it felt like to truly be lonely. Shortly after that meeting I was saved by to very brave young men from a troll, and they became my two best friends during the ordeal.

I tried to shove my small crush to the back of my mind and focus on other things like school and my newly found friends. But it was hard to forget about someone that you spent all your time with. For years I hid my true feelings from the boy I desired so much. Well, that is until Christmas eight years after that first incident.

_The Roman skyline looked beautiful from that view as fireworks went off all below me. Christmas was a time that I usually reserve for family and friends, but here I was on Christmas Eve in a foreign nation alone again._

_I sighed pulling my sweater a little tighter around myself as I looked down at the around men and passersby who celebrated on the street below her balcony. A few fully robed nuns passed the men looking at them disdainfully at their obvious drunken state before continuing on their way to midnight mass. A small smile crept on my face._

"_Why Cinderella, you sure are a long way from home." A familiar voice rang suddenly from behind me. But Auror training had taught me better than to look startled. Rather I remained calm and continued to stare at the Roman ski-line. _

"_Well my prince charming got a little lost on his way to me this Christmas. You know men and there directions." I heard a chuckle from behind me that reassured me that I knew exactly who this was. "So I'm here to be the usual heroine that I am and find him myself." I said it with a certain air of coldness and I could almost feel him wince from behind me. _

"_Seem to think a lot of yourself don't you Cinderella?" He was trying to play it off, but failing miserably as I had detected the hint of need in his voice._

"_No" I shook my head "I'm only relaying over information that someone once told me. He was a real dick."_

"_Hermione!" he exclaimed this time sounding very desperate. "Please look at me!" But when I didn't turn around I heard an exasperated sigh. "I didn't mean it Hermione, and you know it!" _

"_Oh do I?" I turned suddenly and violently making him jump visibly. The city lights reflected off his pale skin giving him an odd glow. It was almost hard to stay mad at him when he looked as distressed, but I was a woman scorned, and we all know how that saying goes. "Because if I recall correctly I was quite shocked when you called me a… oh what was it… over pretentious heroine who won't ever be happy with a man if she doesn't get over the hero." I turned back around and leaned against the balcony casually. "And most would wonder why my supposed best friend would say that to me. It must have been something really terrible, but not. It was simply because she denied a man who she had never loved more than a friend."_

"_It was Ron, Hermione." He tried to explain pleadingly "You turned Ron down and absolutely broke his heart." I almost wanted to slap him in that moment._

"_And you think I don't know that!" I spat loudly making the men from the street look up curiously. "But would it have really been better if I had let him go on thinking I loved him to and then broke his heart later. It was better now." I gulped and tried not to let out some tears. "Its better I rip the band-aid off before the feeling only escalated more." I let a single tear roll down my cheek making the moment seem more dramatic than it seriously should have been._

"_I realize that now Hermione. Ron is coping very well with the news, but is still heart that you won't even go home and face him." His voice was comforting to my ears, and I was relieved that Ron was doing ok. I had worried a lot about him since I left. But there was one matter they had yet to discuss._

"_And what about the hero, does he miss me?" I said it quietly yet firmly so that he could understand exactly what I meant. He moved to my left leaning casually against the balcony next to me, but I didn't dare look at him. _

"_More than you would know." His voice was soft and still contained its calming quality. But my anger was bubbling to the surface again._

"_I thought he wanted me to get over him." I became aware of the fact that the men down on the street were watching them avidly, even though they probably couldn't understand a single word they said. _

"_Well," Harry began cautiously "I think he realized that there was nothing to get over, and that he was being a prick." In usual circumstances I would have laughed, but in the seriousness of the moment I couldn't even muster up a smile._

"_And what if he's wrong?" I braved up the courage to finally look his way and I was lost immediately in an ocean of green. His eyes seemed to pierce my soul, and I fought the urge to look away. _

"_Can a hero be wrong?" He asked quietly his voice in a low grumble and with that I leaned in and our lips met in a fiery kiss. _

_Anyone looking up from the street would see a young couple in love celebrating as the clock struck mid-night and it was officially Christmas. Fireworks and cheers erupted from the streets, but if you really listened closely you could hear the light chiming of bells, and a quiet 'yes' come from a balcony over head. _

The tears now freely flowed as I remembered how good we were together. We had always been that good together. Even in the midst of the war we had been stronger than ever. I smiled as the world seemed to dissolve around me as the bells brought me back to my happiest memory.

_I stood alone in the entrance way of a large room decorated for the occasion. I stood with no one by my sides and flowers in my hands looking down the long aisle and not seeing any of the faces that peered at me from either side. I only saw one face and her feet started taking me automatically to that one face, that one love._

_He stood at the end looking nervously down at his shoes. I smiled broadly as the music started up and his head snapped up looking expectantly down the aisle to where she stood. He looked immediately gob-smacked. _

_My feet moved rhythmically as I slowly ascended down the small aisle. His eyes were the only things that I saw as I approached the alter and stood along side of him. The words blurred as the 'I dos' were said and the kiss was sealed. And as we walked back down the aisle hand in hand I could hear the slight tinkling of bells, except this time everyone else could hear them to. _

Memories were heavy on my heart as I slowly got to my feet. The cold floor stung my feet and almost made me recoil into my warm bed again, but the bells kept calling me forward, mocking me to find them. My now aged feet padded out of my own room into a hallway that smelled so foreign. It no longer smelled like him, so it no longer felt like home.

My eyes fell momentarily upon a closed door in which no light was blazing out of the bottom. I snuck slowly to the door and peeked into the silent room. There he was, my baby boy lying in the bed he had occupied so many years ago. He wasn't so little anymore and he was now having trouble fitting into the small wooden frame that he used to call his bed.

I shut my eyes again. It wasn't his bed anymore. He had his own bed with his own family, and he being here watching over me was holding him back from all of that. It was his idea to stay though. 'To help you cope with the loss.' He had said.

But deep down I also knew that he needed to stay for his own reasons. He needed to cope with the loss. He needed to be in a place that his father loved and be reminded of how much his father truly did love him. It had never been hard for Harry to show affection to Ben, but after the affair things between them just became awkward. I like to think that time healed itself and their relationship healed to the point where it was almost repaired, but I also know it's not that simple. He is a Potter you know. Tears sprang to my eyes again as I looked at the grown man before me and was thrown back into a sea of memories of a simpler time.

"_One more picture Harry, please, oh just one more!" I had exclaimed jumping around excitedly from my position on the couch. Harry smiled at me mischievously before scooping our one year old son in his arms and bringing him over to sit next to me on the couch. _

"_I think it's time for Ben to get a picture with his mum, don't you think?" Before I could protest he had already swiped the camera out of my hands and started taking pictures every which way. _

"_Harry stop!" I giggled as he pretended to be a photographer taking pictures of silly things like the fireplace or door hangings. "Your wasting film!"_

"_Am not!" he replied childishly. "I'm simply recording our first, and probably only happy Christmas together." I gave him an odd look, and he finally put the camera down and came and sat next to me placing Ben on his lap. _

"_And why will we never have a happy Christmas again?" I asked almost scolding him for even suggesting such a thing. _

"_Well, let me see. Next year Ben will be a toddler, and you will most likely be pregnant again, and that combination is never good is it?" I laughed, but knew that he was quite right. "And I figure from there on out Christmas is going to be a mess of relatives and wrapping paper, and I would say no to the whole thing if I didn't think you will look so darn cute in a Santa hat." This time I full out laughed._

"_You are an odd man Mr. Potter. Do I tell you that enough?" He smiled and gave me a soft peck on the lips. "So will this little theory of yours still work out after the kids have all grown up and moved on in their lives?" _

"_Of course not! The kids won't ever leave. You see once they have families of their own every Christmas they will just come back here and bring their kids, and friends, and two big dogs with them. It'll be a bloody nightmare!" Snuggling I considered all that he had told me for a moment._

"_Well, I think you're wrong. I think we will have many more enjoyable Christmases to come." _

"_Just soak this all in love, because if I am right, we'll never have one of these again." He sighed into my hair and for a moment we were both relaxed, and I could almost swear that I could hear soft sleigh bells chiming in the distance. _

It was an effort to open my eyes again. I wanted to stay in those happy times forever. The truth of my life was that the tragic moments greatly out weighed the happy ones. Most of ours days weren't too bad, but it was those few scattered tragic ones that created a void between us that was unbelievable. The chiming of the bells pulled me forward until I was looking up at a step ladder leading into our attic, a place I had refused to go to after that fated incident. I closed my eyes in an attempt to hold that terrible memory back and it came forward in my mind involuntarily.

_It was raining. Rain itself was not a very uncommon thing in England, and it was the kind of rain that always came at the most inopportune time. I had been cooking dinner for myself and Ben. Harry had decided to go out, again. It was becoming a daily habit, one that I desperately wished he would start breaking. _

_A clatter at the front door made me drop a dish in the sink and I hurried to see what was creating such a racket. As I stepped into the hallway I saw him, soaking wet, with tears streaming down his eyes._

_"Harry." I sighed concernedly. I motioned forward to take his coat but he brushed my hand away. _

_"We are not okay, Hermione." He stood stock still and looked straight forward. Something was happening and it wasn't good._

_"Ben!" I called towards the living room where our son was watching T.V. "Go to your room, and stay there for a little while, ok sweetie." _

_"No." Harry commanded moving towards the staircase "Ben you stay down here. I'm going up to the attic anyways." _

_"The attic?" I asked quizzically. "What could you possibly need from the attic?" He was moving up the stairs quickly now towards the spot where the step ladder fell, and I had to take the stairs two at a time to even keep up with him. "Harry please answer me!" He turned around sharply and I stumbled backwards out of fear of what I saw. I had only ever seen that much hatred in his eyes on the day he defeated Voldemort. I backed up just out of sheer fear for what he might do._

_"I have been cheating on you for the past five weeks, and guess what? They have been the happiest weeks of my life." A lump filled up in my throat and I was only able to utter a single phrase. _

_"Why?" the words escaped my mouth in a sort of croak. He took a step towards me and I cringed._

_"Do you really want to know why, because it's not going to make you happy?" I nodded my head. "Five weeks ago I went to a bar because I wasn't happy with my life. You were there, and you were perfect, but you weren't enough. In that bar I realized that after everything I had been through in my life I had settled for a mild form of perfection, and you know as well as anyone that I never wanted perfection. And then Amelia came into the picture and she was the farthest thing from perfect that you could get, and she became the new love of my life. But then today she told me that we were over, so now I need to go up to the attic so I can actually have a goddamn moment alone!" He stormed up the ladder into the hole in the ceiling and slammed it behind him. _

_I sunk to the floor in agony. Every word his had said felt like a stab in the heart. How could he? For a while I lay on the floor in complete silence until a slight tinkling of bells came from overhead. _

The attic was quite small, and looking around it I saw that it hadn't changed much from when I saw it last around fifty years ago. Everything was covered in a layer of dust. Boxes were scattered around the room, and they mostly contained knick knacks from my parent's old house. The only thing I did not recognize was a small silver bell lying in the exact center of the floor.

Walking over to it I gently picked it up and wiped away the dust I saw a light engraving on it's surface. _**Always and Forever.**_ I smiled and took the bells with me back to bed. Holding it into my arms I felt a deep peace spread over my body. With one last final chime of the bell I fell into a deep sleep, knowing that that night I would be reunited with my one true love again.


End file.
